tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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