I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
