dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
