My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is Oprah even human
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
