Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
