my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
