I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
