can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
