It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize