DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
