So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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