Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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