Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
