Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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