Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
