just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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