Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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