i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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