You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
