Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
