Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
