As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
