I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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