I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
