I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
