Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
