Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
