Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
