Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
