she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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