Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
