He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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