Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
