used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
