it's great music for shaving your balls
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
