Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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