You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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