it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My pussy is not your playground.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
