I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
