so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
