doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
