I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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