I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
should my penis look like a turkey
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
