So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
