He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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