Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
