yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
