Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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