please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
