just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
