I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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